her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
