Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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