This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize