omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
