Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
