they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
