"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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