I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
