i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
