i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
