Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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