im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
