I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
