This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
