Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
