dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
