Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
