She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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