Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
why do cheetos always look like penises
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
