I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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