yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
