About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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