Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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