so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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