I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
