He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
