I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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