i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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