Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why did my mother make you get naked?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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