doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
