i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
