My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
only if we run a train.
done.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
And then he peed in my hair
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