You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
