I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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