I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
