my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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