I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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