i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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