small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
