is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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