i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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