my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
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Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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