so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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