Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
