come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
