Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found your dick twin last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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