Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
