You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
