Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
