Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
