Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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  (504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am... http://tfl.nu/u07k
  Replies (4) Good night (1648) Bad night (547)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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  (704): I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober http://tfl.nu/te1z
  Replies (29) Good night (3431) Bad night (724)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen

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  (860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen http://tfl.nu/pyhr
  Replies (59) Good night (6666) Bad night (1355)
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  (607): View more from New York

  he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

  (313): View more from Michigan

  at least he gets points for a creative booty call

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  (607): he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him (313): at least he gets points for a creative booty call http://tfl.nu/28qp
  Replies (16) Good night (7325) Bad night (593)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.

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  (616): HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE. http://tfl.nu/qa6s
  Replies (25) Good night (1317) Bad night (4042)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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  (802): Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there. http://tfl.nu/8qlt
  Replies (8) Good night (3110) Bad night (1002)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..

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  (512): ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm.. http://tfl.nu/glda
  Replies (12) Good night (1302) Bad night (682)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro

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  (330): It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro http://tfl.nu/tuhp
  Replies (9) Good night (1559) Bad night (498)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.

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  (407): Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck. http://tfl.nu/ldxl
  Replies (14) Good night (466) Bad night (1791)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (389)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..

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  (615): Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away.. http://tfl.nu/yxrc
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (441)
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  (831): View more from California

  Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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  (831): Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline http://tfl.nu/8i35
  Replies (9) Good night (478) Bad night (1097)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.

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  (435): It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk. http://tfl.nu/lvra
  Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (325)
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  (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

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  (212): 80% sure the drag queens carried her home http://tfl.nu/gmg4
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (238)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick

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  (517): fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick http://tfl.nu/h8fw
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (211)

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