Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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  (323): i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy http://tfl.nu/zhtt
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (797)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives

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  (732): her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives http://tfl.nu/13r9
  Replies (15) Good night (4041) Bad night (1176)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me

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  (203): dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me http://tfl.nu/k760
  Replies (40) Good night (3278) Bad night (5001)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.

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  (860): I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage. http://tfl.nu/q50p
  Replies (17) Good night (4378) Bad night (1957)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1573) Bad night (3422)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...

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  (443): Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed... http://tfl.nu/d0g6
  Replies (9) Good night (2414) Bad night (923)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

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  (845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz
  Replies (4) Good night (1791) Bad night (751)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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  (760): I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me. http://tfl.nu/uzp6
  Replies (20) Good night (773) Bad night (2157)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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  (+44): Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing. http://tfl.nu/5vch
  Replies (3) Good night (1859) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."

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  (302): Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back." http://tfl.nu/49s7
  Replies (14) Good night (718) Bad night (2651)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.

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  (+44): My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste. http://tfl.nu/tlxh
  Replies (10) Good night (603) Bad night (864)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

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  (847): sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys. http://tfl.nu/l0ff
  Replies (1) Good night (1046) Bad night (481)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (555)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.

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  (202): You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself. http://tfl.nu/1zzq
  Replies (11) Good night (572) Bad night (1686)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.

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  (202): I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll. http://tfl.nu/zni7
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (289)

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