Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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(405): I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace... (1-405): Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar http://tfl.nu/6slq

Replies (16) Good night (1828) Bad night (505)
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(941): View more from Florida

If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?

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(941): If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him? http://tfl.nu/9nhp

Replies (139) Good night (963) Bad night (12521) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

im holly from the hills drunk

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(203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm

Replies (18) Good night (3702) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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(513): You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm. http://tfl.nu/60sn

Replies (10) Good night (4321) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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(318): View more from Louisiana

i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what?how do you know?

(318): View more from Louisiana

it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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(318): i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday.. (1-318): what?how do you know? (318): it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet. http://tfl.nu/gg1h

Replies (10) Good night (1189) Bad night (4551)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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(404): Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center. http://tfl.nu/it0q

Replies (18) Good night (855) Bad night (4274)
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(214): View more from Texas

he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

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(214): he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies http://tfl.nu/w2ol

Replies (4) Good night (3039) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking

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(801): Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking http://tfl.nu/5hl3

Replies (11) Good night (3858) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(807): View more from Ontario

If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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(807): If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right http://tfl.nu/lb7z

Replies (3) Good night (3839) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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(815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc

Replies (6) Good night (1657) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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(978): Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one http://tfl.nu/zma0

Replies (13) Good night (2037) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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(250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi

Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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(202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady

Replies (0) Good night (948) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.

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(516): When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners. http://tfl.nu/d16h

Replies (1) Good night (1361) Bad night (462)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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(501): So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring http://tfl.nu/8ezz

Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt

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