Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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