It's like God shit irony all over that family
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
