Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
