I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
