We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
