her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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