dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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